Thursday, October 13, 2011

Just a quicky before bed!

Ok so I have a ton to say and post but i need to gather my thoughts. I am trying to figure out how to get a hold of a flip or similar vloging device. I have a you tube channel that i would like to kinda link with these blogs. Anywho. So I was talking to a good friend of mine in Greece. We are seeing who can get the most spark points from the spark people wheel so at the end of my blogs i will be posting the number i spun on the wheel. My hubby and I also started a spark team for people in our same weight loss situation. I hope we get a few people on there. Hmm what else oh i will update on Nates leg tomorrow. Ok so for now I will say I am doing ok but it soon will be awesome! talk to you all soon!

For you Dimitra!!!! I got 5!!!!!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Welcome to Monday

Well I have all my children back under one roof. My mom took my two little ones all last week. It was nice trying to get a grip on how to juggle all my jobs and take care of my sweety. Now I add back in the two little ones and its not so bad so far so good. Also back to cooking as we ate out most of last week.

I am so excited we got a letter in the mail today that said Nate was approved for work comp payment! So we will get a paycheck from them every week so that will be nice. I need to get a budget set again.

Lets see I am also going back to my Doc tomorrow to see my progress on my weight loss. I think it is going good had a small hiccup this weekend but not bad.

I also have rearranged the living room and need to finish going through all the toys before my other two daycare kids come. I had to let the newest daycare kid go as all he did when he was here was cry and whine. there is only so many hours of that i can take. He is used to be picked up and carried all the time. i don't have time to do that so he cried. and it wasn't just a normal cry it was the most annoying thing i have ever heard!

OK I better sign off i have to finish picking up the toys. hopefully be back tomorrow! later all!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Back into the swing!

Ok so I have been seeing my family doctor and she has put me basically on a diabetic diet counting only so many carbs per meal. Than we will move onto a different nutrient. Anyway Since my last appt. i have lost around 6 pounds. It been roughly 4 weeks so i am happy with that. The fact that might life is so busy i cant get to the gym. i walk with my daycare kids and recently have been going up and down a lot of steps helping my hubby.

So other than my weight loss let me quickly bring you up to speed on what has been going on at my house!

In Sept the kids went back to school. My oldest Arik is 15 and in 10th grade. its hard to believe he will be graduating in three years! At some point this winter he will also be taking drivers training! not looking forward to that but cant wait for another driver in the family. Michelle is 11 and in 6th grade. This is her first year at the middle school and she says she loves it so far. She is on the swim team and has a sport picked out for each season LOL. She wants to try the dance team in the winter and golf in the spring. Sammy is 4 and is a big help to me. She plays so good with bubba and keeps him busy. Bubba is 2 and active as all get out he is talking a lot and will tell you how it is. And some of the silly things he says will just bowl you over! Nate has been at International paper almost 12 years. He has also started a computer repair business. Here is a link to his website. . I am keeping super busy with my three jobs. I go to Nate's office and do bookkeeping and work on advertising and other administrator stuff in the mornings. Than just before one I get one daycare kid. She comes at that time all week with either Tuesday or Friday off. Than at 2:30 I have 3 more kids that come, they get picked up anywhere from 11pm to 3am. thank goodness they are only here 2 nights a week. Than on Wednesday and Friday nights i cook at the bowling alley, I also work out there on Saturday but I switch between mid shifts or night shifts depending on if i bowl or not. See I have a super crazy schedule. Oh and I just took my food manager test Tuesday. So I hope i pass that.

So there is our life... or it was until Monday the 12th of Sept. I got a call at 4:30am from my hubby that he messed up his leg at work and was in the er. He has been there a couple of other times so i didn't think much of it till he told me he was taken there by ambulance!!! AS soon s those words came out of his mouth my heart skipped a beat! He told me to come but i didn't have to hurry cause they were waiting on something. So I collected myself got out of bed and drove to the hospital. As I was driving I called my mom to see if she could watch my kids, she did one better and dropped off my sister for the week. Anyway I get to the hospital and they let me in to see Nate who is sitting on a bed holding his knee. I asked him what happened and he says he fucked it up real bad and he has to hold his knee cap in place or it just slides off to the side!! I said what?!?! He says yeah its like there is nothing holding it in place! I am freaking out inside but stay calm cause he doesn't need a histarical wife to deal with. Fast forward about an hour and our local hospital decides to send him to Rochester for an mri. So I kiss him good bye and run home to get something to do in roch as I can already feel its going to be a really long day. I get over to Rochester MN at about 8:15 and they take me to his ER room. He is gone to x-rays. So i sit and read the news paper I got. They wheel him back in and he is still holding his knee. I told him to tell me what happened and he says there must have been a little water that splashed out of the grate that was under his machine and he turned and his right leg slipped on it and he came down right on his right knee on cement! he said his leg below the knee took a 90 degree bend the wrong way! I about cried the poor guy. So we wait for the results of the x-ray to come back. Than this tall lady comes in and says she is the resident to the ortho ER specialist he is surgery so she is going to relay messages between him and us. So the first thing out of her mouth the good thing is nothing is broke. I said thats good. than she goes on to say that the specialist just thinks he dislocated his knee cap. So they are going to to Ace wrap it and put a leg brace on so his leg wont bend and send him home for a week till the swelling goes down. I am pretty sure both Nate and I had our mouths hanging open. Nate loos at her and says i don't think its just dislocated my knee cap just slides off to the side it doesn't pop out of joint. So she says ok let me go talk to the specialist again. we wait and as we are waiting both Nate and I say i don't think they realize how serious this injury is. So than she comes back and says that it may not have poped out but he may have just stretched the ligaments thats why its falling off to the side. I kinda thought to myself I am pretty sure that if they stretched that far that it is letting his knee cap slide off it must be pretty serious so they will do something about it now. As soon as that thought came across my mind she says the doc who was in a very big and important surgery said to have it wrapped and in a brace and sent home. My first thought was big important surgery was that said to make us feel like Nate wasn't important? I am getting to the point that i am beyond mad! I am pretty sure Nate and I had the same thought. he is a big guy there is no way an Ace wrap and brace is going to hold his knee cap in place till we come back in a week. Anyway she puts the two ER nurses to work getting the ACE and brace on him the first brace was to small so they got a universal one. Nate and I kept looking at each other. As Nate is sitting there in this wrap and brace and he says he can feel that as soon as he moves his leg the knee cap is going to slide off again and dislocate his lower leg. the tall intern comes back in with his discharge papers, and says ok here are your papers and your appt next Monday with the sports medicine specialist. She goes on to say that if Nate isn't in to much pain he can put weight on his leg if he wanted but if it hurt to bad to not put weight on it. Both of us are kind of shaking our heads like this shit isn't going to work. I asked the lady why isn't he getting an MRI done thats what Austin sent him over here for? She proceeds to tell me that there is to much swelling in his leg for an MRI. I looked at her and said you can get an MRI through swelling. It a picture of the layers of tissue inside. She says the ER doc wants to wait a week for the swelling to go down. I looked at her and said this ace wrap is not going to work there is nothing holding his cap in place and as soon as he moves his leg its going to fall over and hurt him. She reassured me that the ACE wrap and brace will hold his knee in place. So the moment of truth comes to move his leg off the bed I am on the side of the bed with the rail still up and he is going to slide is leg off the bed turn and sit up than off the bed on the side opposite from me. So with one ER nurse holding his leg straight they start the move, no soon than his calf was halfway off the bed. Nate screams there is goes. i look down in time to see his leg do something i never wanna any leg ever do again. At the knee cap the lower leg takes a 90 degree turn in the wrong direction. Nate lets out a pain scream like i have never heard another human scream. He is scream in pain i look at the door to his room for help and standing in the door way is at least 6 white coated doctors. all staring at him DOING NOTHING!! So I take it into my own hands and leap over the rail of the bed and scream at them to get the fuck out of my way. i put nates leg back up on the bed and start ripping the brace that was supposed ot keep his leg straight and the ACE wrap off. About half way through one of the ER nurses starts helping me. I get it off enough to were Nate can slide his knee cap up from the side of his leg and straighten his leg back out than he stopped screaming in pain as his leg was once again straight. I look at him him face is white and he is sweating like crazy. pretty much about to go into shock. About that time the ER specialist comes slowly walking in. I turned to stare him down and I pointed my finger at him and yelled I told you that wouldn't work you little fucker!!! I was so mad. I moved back to the side of the bed that had the bed rail up. I stayed over there cause if i was near that Doctor I was certain I was going to punch his lights out! So the little asshole (as he will be called from now on) walks up to the side of nates bed and says well your knee really isn't stable. I said no shit thats what we have been trying to tel you people!! I said he needs an MRI to see what damage he has. the little asshole says you cant MRI through swelling> I said oh yes you can when my mom busted up her leg is was swollen to 4 times its normal size and they still did any MRI and i saw the pictures they turned out fine. He keeps on says well its a wait and see kind of injury. I was gripping the bed rail so hard i am sure i bent it. i wanted to punch him so bad. Here we are in what is supposed to be the best hospital in the nation and this little asshole made my hubby scream in pain because of his stupidity!!! I never ever want to here a scream like that and especially coming from someone I love dearly. SO this asshole goes on and on and says we should hard cast it. So i say what happens when that cast is dry and hard and the knee cap slips off? We have to wait for the cast to be sawed off! he said well that wont happen and i said ya you said that the ACE wrap wouldn't let that happen. He said there really isn't much more of an option. So finally Nate agree although we are both leery that it will work. So they take him up to the cast room. And the cast guy is reading the order. Nate and i both are telling him of our concerns with the knee cap sliding off and the little asshole didn't put in the order to put supports around the knee cap to keep it in place. So Nate asked if he could support the knee cap with something inside the cast. So the cast guy was really nice and followed the order the doc wrote except he put some support around the knee cap and even pushed down the sides of the cast to hold the knee in place. We also asked him if Nate could walk around a bit after it dried to make sure that the cap would stay in place and he said absolutely. Nate was really nervous about taking his leg off the bed. The cast guy was so nice and he brought the cast saw out and plugged it in and he said there ya go its all ready to go and it will take me less than 30 seconds to get the top of the cast off so Nate can fix his leg again. So Nate ok and very slowly took his leg over the side of the bed. Finally the leg was down and the knee cap was staying in place. About that time the tall intern comes back and says oh good its on here is your papers for next week. Nate says I am not waiting till next week I want the MRI done now. She leaves and comes back and says the soonest they could get him in was tomorrow mid afternoon. So we agree. The cast guy lets Nate walk around to get used to the crutches and to make sure the knee cap stays in place I could see Nate was getting more confidence that it would work with each step. So I take him home. we get home from Rochester at 8:30 pm. So huge long day. I help Nate up to the bed room and get him comfy. Ok well as comfy as I can. We went the next day for MRI. His appt was at 3pm he got in at 5:20pm. We didn't get home till around 9 again that night. The next day Wednesday after noon we get a call about the results of the MRI. The lady says he has a complete tear of the MCl and a complete tear of the madiscus. So even though neither one of us had been to medical school we were write there was nothing hold his knee cap to his leg. She sets us up with an appt that Friday to get a new cast and talk to the sports medicine specialist who takes care of ligaments and tendons and what not. Fast forward to Friday we have to be there at 8am. We get to see the Doc first than new cast. The Doctor walks and right away said why is right leg curved off to the right. We tell him that's the way the ER Doc wanted it set. it also had a little bend which the ER Doc wanted. he just shakes his head says with the type of injury Nate has his leg should be straight with no bed and foot face up and down not off to the side! So the little dumbass from the ER had his leg casted wrong!!! So we gave the Doc the short story of the ER visit. and all he did was shook his head. he said as soon as we told that other doctor that his knee cap was sliding off to the side he should have been called. That little dumbass in the ER never should have made a diagnosis or made a treatment plan it should have been the sports medicine guy. Nate says we are hear now what do we do so this is done right. The doc says I am sending you for new xrays so he can make sure the bones are alined correctly. and then they will recast his leg and he will be back in two weeks to get custom fitted for a straight leg brace. He wants him in the brace for 2 o 3 weeks than another MRI to see where the scar tissue is growing. IF it is growing in the right place and the leg has the right mobility they will leave it but if its not in the right place or the leg doesn't move like its supposed to they will operate. Right now the Doc said about 50/50 chance. But he wouldn't say if it would go one way or the other. So its still a wait and see game but at least we know Nates leg is set right and he will get fitted for a proper brace. ugh what a week we had. I will try to keep you up to date on how he is doing.

Oh and i took new pictures of me in my skinny jeans!!! there are spots I wanna get rid of and i marked them LOL:)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wow yesterday was interesting

So I went to my doctor yesterday to get my prescription refilled and talked about my weight. She asked me what is going on. I said I havent been good to me. i have slacked off and ate alot of all the wrong things. I started crying cause i am just so sad about how i look. i used to be sooo skinny and now after 4 kids it seems like i have just given up. I have been reading a lot of Geneen Roth books and while she has hit a lot of things on the head about why i compulsively over eat. I just don't know how to fix it. she says to let the feelings in and live int eh present. But shit if i let all my feeling in you might as well put in a frickin white coat and send me to a loony bin. I am pretty sure i know what happened each time i gained weight. And at what point i just gave up. well i am here to say I AM NOT GIVING UP OR IN ANYMORE! I will look how i want for myself and for my darling husband. I feel bad that i lost that pretty girl he married. Now I know everyone changes over the years but damn! I have a gym membership that i haven't used in a month cause i am lazy. My house is a mess cause i am lazy. ok maybe not lazy cause i wish it was done. But I have no motivation to get it done. Maybe I am depressed I don't know. My doctor asked me that too was i depressed? I don't know how do you know if you are depressed. I have no energy no motivation and i don't take care of myself. I may come across as a happy person on the outside but i am jsut sad on the inside of who i have become. I am fat I hate being fat but yet i dont do anything to change that. I am disgusted with myself. I just don't even know where to start. I wanna be who i was when my hubby married me. I wanna fit into clothes and not have to make sure i wear clothes that don't show my rolls. I dont wanna my belly to hang down over my privates or have to lift it up to clean under it! how gross is that! my body is just ugly. my doctor gave me great advice on what i should do. Now i just need to follow through. She didn't put me on a strict diet of what i can and cant eat but she did tell me to how many grams of carbs i should eat at each meal. I also need to get to the gym for at least 30 min 5 times a week. With my weird schedule I should be able to figure something out. I was going in teh morning with a dear friend of mine but I am so not a morning person especially when I work late. So i am going to have figure out how to get the gym in the afternoon.

I just started reading Why Weight? A guide to ending complusive eating by Geneen Roth its a workbook type book where you write down feeling and what not as to why you eat and hopefully how to control that. it will be interesting. as i fill out the pages I will try to post it on here to so i can elaborate more. I am so ready to get me back its unreal. I will someday be able to wear form fitting pretty clothes. I will be able to make love to my hubby with out feeling like i am squishing him or have to move my belly roll out of the way! It will happen!! It will start now!!!

OK enough about my craziness!

On a better note Nate's business is starting slow but its coming around! I have worked my ass off to get us out there on the web and advertising. In 6 months it will be a great booming business! we also have a website that my best friend Michelle set up. She did a great job! if ya wanna check it out go to

OK gotta get busy workin on me!!! talk to you later or tomorrow!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Finally relief

Ok so all week has been soo hot here. heat index of 120 for two days a few others at 115 and 118
thank god today was in the 70s. OK so i lied on the details. LOL
I forgot and i dont have time tonight. But i will fill in the story i swear. So i go to my doc to take care of a scraping problem my hubby is having with my hysterectomy. OH yeah that is the best thing ever!!!!!!!!! ok well off to bed, i have been working on advertising all week for my hubbys business tomorrow i actually put it all together to get us more business!!! ok gotta run i hear a little one needs me! ill be back tomorrow i hope LOL

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Here is a quick one before bed

Lots to catch up on here i will fill in the details tomorrow. I have missed this blog! I have been writing somethings on spark people. We just finished the 16th round of the biggest loser club on spark people and i have been involved with that since round 8. I have decided to not return for round 17 because my weight loss journey has taken me in a different direction. (will fill more in on that later) I also don't have the time to commit to posting to he BLC everyday. and i am plain sick of tracking and reporting everything!!! OK half a rant off my chest LOL. i will be back tomorrow to rant some more and clue you in on what i have been up to. Later!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Monday? Already?

Where the hell did the weekend go!!! Saturday was a huge blur. Bowling, work, Bowling, date night! Sunday was catch up on sleep day. i didn't track over the weekend cause it was to hard to eat healthy and to remember what all i ate when i had time to eat. I have been so tired today its rediculus I am not sure why I am getting about 7 hours of sleep at night so not sure what the issue is. If any one has good ideas let me know. Oh and prego is out of the question as i no longer own those parts!
Any way here is what you all have been waiting for. My food log for today i did go over by 1 cal and i was gonna go work out but i have a massive headache so don't feel like putting pressure on my head. Anywho here ya go tomorrow is a new day.

Breakfast: 200
Lunch: 282
Dinner: 731
Snacks: 296
Thomas begel thins
1 Serving


Daily calorie budget
Food calories consumed
Exercise calories burned
Net calories so far today